10 Ways I Bounced Back After 2 Kids Under 2

I have two beautiful kids that I am grateful for each and every day. Today, I have a five-year-old and a three-year old and I still get hit with butterflies constantly when I stare at them because they are my blessings.

However, once I stopped nursing and got out of the newborn phase, I was able to see myself as a new person again. I went from feeling like a robot, doing the same thing every single day to being rejuvenated for life again.

Here are some of the mental, physical and spiritual changes that really helped me to bounce back to the real me after having my children.

Identify as More Than Just a Mom

Being a mom is my biggest achievement. I will never take that title for granted. My babies are incredible and have totally formed me into the person I am today. However, and while the title of mama is my number one priority, it is not all that I am.

I am a wife, daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend, co-worker, graduate, etc. It is really important to remember and focus on those titles too because in mom life, it is so easy to get wrapped into everything we have going on. I have young ones, but I also have a partner that I need to show up for in order for our relationship to work. While it can feel overwhelming to have all those roles at times, there is a comfort in it, as well.

Self-Care

Doing something that made me happy and fulfilled was so important in this journey. Whether it is giving myself an at-home facial twice a week or whitening my teeth weekly for an ego-boost, I made sure to give myself time for it. It started off doing it while at the kids’ bedtime, and I kept at it.

Or even if it is just enjoying a glass of wine and reading a romance novel for a mental break.

It was important for me to do these things because motherhood is an overwhelming and panic-inducing role, even with its endless rewards.

This is an essential, non-negotiable step, in my opinion. For me in particular, I am the type of person that I need some alone time to mellow out. Getting my me-time is a requirement. Parents are not machines; we NEED to carve out some time to ourselves.

“Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.”

Katie Reed

Hot Mama

I’m not saying you should do bangs…. Unless you want to!

I personally got bangs and started to work out at the tail end of my nursing journey. I really wanted to feel comfortable in my clothes again.

If you can, go shopping. I will always go on to Pinterest to get fashion, makeup, hairstyle, really any beauty inspiration. See what you can do for you to feel good about yourself.

I love seeing moms before and after they get a haircut or new hairstyle – it’s like an awakening.

Also, as I was nursing or just house-bound, I would wear unflattering clothing while at home. Baggy clothing and sweats that were comfortable but didn’t make me feel great. I absolutely do not dress like a supermodel while at home. However, there are some outfits like yoga pants and loungewear that is easy to wear and look super cute, so I went shopping at Target and Amazon. Some parents spend so much time at home, we should feel good during these times too.

Taking Time for Myself – Makes Me a Better Mom

I understand this is a privilege that I have for me. Some single parents, military spouses, those without family nearby, etc. cannot have this as an option all the time, especially once the daytime naps are no longer a thing. Also, as I have mentioned many times before, I am blessed to live in California and within about a half hour drive to the beach.

My kids love the beach but sometimes kid outings are not exaccctttlllyyy relaxing.

Sometimes I need a break and head to the beach alone. It is so wild what this planet has to offer us and I love to take advantage of it on my free time. It is so refreshing and perfect for a reset.

“It’s okay to take time for yourself. We give so much of ourselves to others, and we need to be fueled both physically and mentally. If we are in balance, it helps all our interactions.”

Faith Hill

Stayin in Contact with All My Friends

I have mom friends and single, kid-free friends. The important thing is that I have adult friends.

I spend a lot of my days with my kids and I am fortunate to have a hybrid work schedule. I go into work once a week on average and work from home the rest of the work week.

However, I need adult time. I love my adult time with my husband, but friend-time is essential too. Just to relax with some wine/cocktails and talk with my girls, catch on each other’s lives, goals, accomplishments, gossip… it is the best to really take a break and come back refreshed.

Or you can join a mom group if you’d like to meet more people like you. When my oldest was a newborn, I joined a weekly mom group from the hospital while I was on leave from work. It was so nice to get out and speak with other moms, new and vets. We even had outings to get food with and without the kids. It was fun and I still have a few friends on Facebook from that group and it was just over five years ago (pre-Covid).

Learn New Hobbies

I am an impulsive person. When something comes into my head, I want to do it right away.

When I decide that I want to do something, I want to do it right away. So, if a hobby interests me, then I want to go do it right away. Figuring out a pastime hobby is easy for me. It’s the keeping up with it is what I struggle with. I have a beginner guitar, coloring books, piles of magazines, dozens of books on my Kindle, hidden item games, puzzles, vinyl records, Duolingo, etc. I have some great things to keep me entertained.

Create Goals

Did I think I would be starting a blog at almost 40? No, I did not!

However, I knew I wanted to do something and after watching a YouTube video from Tiffany TV , I asked God what my new step should be and the idea to start a blog popped into my head. So, I did, and it has been fun. It has not been perfect but I made the goal to start a blog and here it is two months later.

There may have been some late nights and loss of my free time, but it gave me something to focus on rather than just the same day-to-day operations.

Use That PTO if You Can- The Point of PTO is To Use it!

This year was the first time in so long that I took off a week for vacation. I’m guessing about 8 years ago was my last extended vacation that wasn’t just a long weekend. I will take a day off here and there for appointments for me and my kids, or just random days or birthdays.

Now, I have just returned from a cruise from Miami, Cozumel, Belize and Isla Roatan and let me tell you how needed it was for me. I went along with my husband and other adult family.

While I missed my kids more than ever and video messaged several times a day, this time is great for me and as a bonus – my husband.

I know I am a good mom and my kids get the best of me when I can recharge, so I don’t feel any mom guilt. I know my first title will always be mother and I love that, but me taking some time away as Diana is something that I also appreciate.

Read Books/Podcasts/YouTube Videos

Whenever I feel like I’m in a rut, I love hopping on YouTube for a refresh and refocus. I like to do face masks twice a week and go to the nail salon monthly. I have a self-care schedule, but I really enjoy Jaz Turner, Tea Renee or any just general maintenance/self-care vlog will motivate me to get back to me if I start failing in my routine. I also like to listen to the affirmations from Habits of a Goddess.

I love to continue to learn and books are great for that obviously. I also like to educate myself with different online courses from EdX or Udemy (which I particularly love because they have great options and usually have helpful promotions). I know there are many other online sites with courses or classes such as Masterclass and Skillshare. If you are searching for a hobby or something to enrich your life, maybe you can find something on one of these sites.

Remember Who You Are

Maybe you will need a reminder of who you were prior.

Maybe you are one of those fabulous people that has a journal that you can read again.

OK, sometimes Facebook is so bad at showing your old memories with those cringeworthy status… I mean WTH was I thinking with some of the things I posted? On the other hand, sometimes they can be helpful.

Looking at the pictures can sometimes let you remember the good times. The person you were. The people you love. The places you have been. Your old interests. Maybe you have changed and some of the things you enjoyed before are not the same. But maybe this sparks a little life into you. Reflecting on your life can remind you of who you were before and perhaps you want to be more like that person.

A lot of my photos are from when I was in college and bar hopping. Clearly, that is not what I want with my life right now, but looking back makes me feel a little spark inside.

I know some of these options are from the POV of somebody with a partner and lives pretty close to family members and that is not the case for everybody. Do what works for you.

Do you have the kids with you all day with no break or barely have time for anything by the time it is bedtime?  I am sure you are exhausted but maybe you can take an extra half hour before bed once or twice a week to give yourself a manicure with that infamous sleepy mocktail on social media (or a real one works too).

Make yourself a priority because when you are refreshed and refilled, you are at your best for everybody else… plus YOU DESERVE IT!

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”

Mandy Hale